


Unravelling

by brutti_ma_buoni



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-29
Updated: 2013-03-29
Packaged: 2017-12-06 20:57:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/740086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brutti_ma_buoni/pseuds/brutti_ma_buoni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the prompt: You know all those fics where one character lies to the other about his/her education, occupation, or general background? And then spends the rest of the story angsting over the need to come clean and tell the truth? I want to read that, except from the point of view of the character being lied to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unravelling

Jared is the most open, honest guy Jensen has ever met. He'd swear to it. Which is why the whole thing hits so hard.

Jensen's home early, the first day that something starts to bubble. He had supervisions cancelled due to flimsy excuses, and he's pissed at the general midterm student body slump in attention. He calls Jared, knowing he's scheduled tightly all week, but still, hoping for a coffee, maybe. Some sympathy, at least.

"Hey, man!" Jared's voice is big and bright and booming. Perfectly Jared, and Jensen must have caught him between classes. 

"Baaaaad afternoon. I hate students, have I mentioned," Jensen moans, without too much preamble. 

"I know, they never work, they never appreciate you-" Jared parrots. Jensen grins into his cell. Thank god for a boyfriend that knows the drill. 

"I have an unscheduled window in my schedule," he says. "I could come over to Westside and you could feed me coffee and commiserate?"

He can hear, immediately, that it isn't going to happen. The way Jared stutters, and says _It's too far for you to come, I don't have a long break, not worth it, I'm real busy today, I have the evening full too_ , and any one of them would be reasonable but all together they say, in neon, _hiding_.

Jensen has too much time, that gloomy winter afternoon, to notice the oddity. It's only then that he spots the others. Looking back, he can't believe it took so long.

*

They have been together for months now, and it's so good Jensen gets a little scared sometimes. 

He moved to Springfield for a tenure track position, and wasn't thrilled with the move, though the position was working out fine. No disrespect to the city, but it ain't Chicago. At least it's a two-college town, though. And that's where meeting Jared after a bare few weeks worked out so well. Jensen has done the colleague-fucking thing, and it gets messy. Especially when competition for tenure comes up. (Enough of that thought, it's a bitter one.)

There aren't so many Springfield bars where gay men are welcome, let alone the main attraction, so it's maybe not a huge surprise that Jensen should meet Jared in one. Gay guys from both colleges are pretty much forced to intermingle. Jensen was mingling enthusiastically, when he caught a glimpse of Jared at a distance. Something about the size, the vigour of the guy attracted him across the crowded room (cliché, cliché, but also literally true), and Jensen drifted in that direction, fell into conversation – never hard with Jared – and he knew it was going somewhere well before they kissed. 

The knowledge that they were in the same line of business could have soured things, Jensen not being keen to repeat stupidities. But after Jensen mentioned he was at Driscoll, Jared nodded. "Huh, rivals then. I'm at Tech." (Which, considering Jared was in engineering, meant he was good. Tech's engineering programme was nationally recognised, and Jensen hadn’t drunk the Driscoll Kool Aid enough to deny it when Jared pointed that out.)

One thing led to another, a drink to a kiss to a grinding, sluttish pair of handjobs in the bathroom, and an exchange of numbers. Months later, and with little real difficulty, here they are. The sex is awesome, the conversation never gets old, and Jensen isn't sorry he invited Jared to move in after an insanely short time when his housing situation turned nasty just before the start of the autumn semester. They just _fit_.

Jared's schedule is pretty tight, but that's okay. Jensen only taught a part of the previous semester, filling in for the previous incumbent's illness. And yeah, he'd been glad to come as soon as he could, but it means a lot of work for the new school year, planning out his courses from scratch. So he and Jared share a space, and make time for at least one evening a week, and the best part of a weekend day unless things are batshit crazy – finals, for example, when they miss a big chunk of December altogether. Jensen knows how it goes. That's academic life, but he loves it. 

Apart from the students. Sometimes. 

*

Jensen has time to cook actual food before Jared gets in, well after nine, which is his usual Monday schedule. (There's a buttload of lab supervision with applied subjects; Jensen is glad liberal arts offers faculty a lot more flexibility. Jared rolls his eyes and points out the Sunday mornings Jensen gets up at seven to grade papers, and the nights he comes to bed after one, proofing articles or drafting conference proposals. Jensen, secretly, thinks it comes out about even, but he's prepared to defend his discipline to the hilt when challenged.)

There's a light smell on Jared's skin when Jensen kisses him. Coffee. Jared doesn't drink a lot of coffee, though he mainlines hot chocolate and anything else sweet. It's not exactly odd, but Jensen's antennae are raised today. Jared must have been to a coffee shop, to get the smell ground in. So why not let Jensen come?

Jensen's not the jealous type. He doesn't think Jared's a cheater, anyway. But: antennae, unease, and all of a sudden, Jensen is noticing. 

It takes a while for Jensen to be sure, now he has begun to spot signs. But there are other times, when Jared isn't where Jensen expects. He calls twice, finding Jared in coffee shops, with people talking to him, at times Jensen could swear Jared was due for labs. Jared stays ever later on campus, even after midterm hell passes. He seems tired, and Jared isn't tired often. He has bruises that don't entirely match with his occasional Saturday morning pickup ball games. 

And more than anything, Jared never agrees to meet Jensen on the Tech campus at Westside. 

Now that he's noticed all this, Jensen is struggling to make sense of it. He pushes, once, about coming over to Tech ("I'd just like to see where you work. It's not like it's far away."), and Jared agrees to be met, late one night, gives him the fastest tour ever and stiffens whenever anyone else comes into view.

He gets quiet about money, too. Real quiet. Jensen is picking up more of their expenses, without either of them quite discussing it. 

The way Jensen sees it, there are many things that are maybe going on here. But none of them feels like Jared. Lack of money equals lost job, maybe? But Jared has stacks of work, always, and talks about lab work with fluency, unprompted.

Covert coffee shop visits and not wanting to be spotted on campus with Jensen, if they're connected, spell an affair. If not connected, maybe Jared's working in a coffee shop now he's lost his job. And is also not out on campus, so doesn't want to be caught with his boyfriend. 

(Jensen really struggles to believe that. Jared is one of the more out people he's ever met, up to and including rainbow badges and a sparkly unicorn on his keychain, this year's Christmas gift from his little sister.)

The bruises… hell, Jensen doesn't even know. Money worries and bruises spell alarming TV drama situations. Not real life for college faculty. Assuming Jared still has a job. 

Finally, and it's crap but he can't resist, Jensen sneaks a look at a recent text on Jared's phone. Unfortunately, it's from Chad, one of Jensen's least favourite of Jared's friends. Guy lives like a college kid still. _Man, you are not pussying out of spring break to spend smooch time with Jensen. Enough! You're getting old._

Which is pretty much what Jensen expects from Chad, and therefore not so informative. Sneaky is just not cutting it.

The dumb thing is? Jensen could life with any of those things, if Jared would just _tell_ him. In the end, it's the lying he really hates.

One night, not sleeping, he is staring at the ceiling after midnight when Jared comes in. Jared is no good at discretion, and falls over a lot before Jensen has mercy and switches on the light. "Jay? You okay?"

Jared looks exhausted, and his eyes are almost sunken. Whatever the hell is going on, it's not working out for him any better than for Jensen. Jensen sucks it up. "I think maybe we need to talk?" Jared flinches. "Hey, I don't want-" _I don't want to break up with you, but I hate that you lie to me, and if it's something really important, then… I don't even know._ Jensen's too tired to make any of that make sense. "Look, I- I know you haven't been completely honest with me. I don't know why. I don't think tonight is the right time to talk, but we have to- Jay, I need to understand."

Jared knuckles into his eyes, looking about twelve years old. He _is_ younger, but that picture he makes is more than a little pathetic. It's uncomfortable. Jensen flips back the covers. "I'm not angry," he says, though he may be lying. "We'll work it out." He may be lying about that, too. 

Neither of them sleeps too well, and when dawn breaks, Jensen spots a fresh line of unexplained bruises on Jared's ribs. Breakfast is silent, tight-lipped. 

Eventually, Jared says, in the most un-Jared of voices, tentative and reluctant, "You get off at five today, yeah?" Nod. "You want to meet me at Tech? There's a coffee shop there, at campus central. I'll be there."

*

Jensen almost doesn't go. He'd have chosen a bar, or even a meal somewhere, awkward though it could become if the conversation goes badly. But mostly, somewhere neutral. Tech is Jared's space. But he's prepared to accept there may be things he needs to see there. 

Campus Coffee is easy to find. Jensen stands outside for a full two minutes, breathing shallowly and fighting panic. Trying to work through what Jared may say, and how he'll react. This is by far the best thing Springfield has brought to Jensen's life. And he may be about to can it, just because- No. He needs to know.

The coffee shop is steamy and full of kids. Students everywhere. There's no place to sit, and it's loud, and why the hell did Jared pick it? Jensen queues, panic and irritation rising in tandem. The place is rammed, but he'd spot Jared in an instant. "Coffee, black," he blurts, sounding off and arrogant at the inoffensive server. 

"Sure thing," she smiles, and she might not even spit in his cup. "Our barista will be right there," gesturing at the end of the counter.

Jared's there. Behind the counter. In a uniform. Looking at him, steadily.

Jensen walks, not feeling his feet, to the counter end. Jared passes over a black coffee. "My shift ends in ten. Go, sit."

"Did you lose your job?" Jensen spits it out, ignoring the bodies around him.

Jared looks right back at him, level. "Nope. This is my only job. There's a seat by the window."

So there is. Jensen walks over, stepping across sprawled student legs and thoughtlessly bestowed student bags. He sips at the coffee. 

Jensen's not a snob. His boyfriend works in a coffee shop? That's okay. Well, kind of. But he enjoyed talking to Jared about academic stuff. And that was a big part- No, this makes no sense. Jared can't have invented every single detail about his life, right?

So…

When Jared goes out back to hang up his uniform, Jensen's mind starts to click. As his boyfriend walks across the coffee shop, Jensen watches. Sees Jared, sees him raise a hand in greeting to a couple of guys, ruffle one girl's hair (she turns and scowls and whacks him on the butt, familiar and casual). Sees Jared _fit_. 

Jared collapses down into the chair opposite Jensen. One leg hooks over the chair back; his hand shoves through his own hair. He looks _young_.

Jensen opens his mouth. Closes. Opens. "Jesus, Jay. How _old_ are you?"

A sheepish look. "Uh. I was twenty one the night we met."

"That _actual night_? Fuck. _Fuck_." Jensen actually smacks his own forehead. "You're a _student_."

Jared gives a tiny, bare nod. Jensen waits. Processing a boyfriend a decade younger, who is a _student_.

It's a good tactic. Jared's a blurter. "I- I didn't mean to lie, but. That night we met? I thought you were, maybe, a grad student or something? And then when we dated, and you were faculty, and you just assumed I was, and I couldn't- And you really sound like you hate students sometimes, but you're great and funny and I _wanted_ -" He stops for a second, almost panting, talked out.

Jensen thinks. "Your friends know." Of course they do. They must have laughed. It's a little sickening. Chad thinks Jared's getting old, pretending to live Jensen's life.

Jared flails, arms bowling, self-justification through movement. "Yeah. It was- I thought, at the start, it- Can we get out of here?"

"Gladly. You know how I feel about-" _student haunts_. Yeah. Jared does. Jensen's been hating on his lover's whole life. The fact Jared just wrinkles his nose and grins reminds Jensen that he's basically the nicest guy ever. Which doesn't make this whole lying deal easier. 

It's dark and rainy outside, but they silently refuse to head straight for Jensen's car. The wind whips words away, but they exchange enough. 

"It started like a joke. I mean, I didn't know we were serious, and I joked with the guys, and we worked out how to make it work. It seemed like fun, we had this plan, and it was only going to be my summer fling, you know? You were so, so out of my league, and it would be over."

The money thing is the most obvious. "You live like an adult, and it costs way more. I have some scholarships, plus my job, and tuition's covered, but-"

The recent bruises are also easily explained. "The guys asked me to join the lacrosse team, and it was fun. I haven't seen them so much, because-"

And the part that actually hurts, which Jensen hadn't even thought of. "I couldn't have you at my house, it was such an obvious student rental."

"So you lied about being homeless and moved in with me - so you could keep lying some more?" That line comes out clear and bitter, and Jensen wishes he could take it back, or else punch Jared and make this be over. 

Jared stops, and yanks on Jensen's shoulder. "I moved in so I could still be with you. I thought you wouldn't want me if you knew. That's all. Everything just-" He waves a hand, helplessly. 

It was a little misunderstanding, and it grew. Jensen could forgive that. It's just- months, and months, and _months_ of lying. All Jared's friends knowing, plotting together. He's met them, they've all lied to him too, pretending to be grad students, or whatever. 

_Jesus Christ_ , he's just furious now. This ends. Jensen's voice is cold, as he makes the break. "You have somewhere you can crash?" Of course he does. He's a student. They practically live on couches. And Jared's had months of living with Jensen, living that lie. 

Jared shakes his head. "I'm coming home." Not caving. And Jensen doesn't know what to do with that.

Jensen simmers in fury all the way to the car. He drives badly, choppy moves and poor observation. Embarrassment and anger combine, and he's pretty well boiling over by the time he finally parks up. Walking up to his house, he thinks about the rent, how much higher that is than a student pays, how Jared didn't even mention that. The barista salary must be just _eaten_ … 

As the door closes behind them, Jared's hand comes down on Jensen's shoulder again. "Hi, have we met?" He slams Jensen back against the wall. "I'm Jared Padalecki. I'm a senior at Tech, in the engineering programme. I'm very, very good at what I do." He kisses, all teeth and sucking pressure, down the side of Jensen's neck, grasping his hands and keeping Jensen pinned against the wall with his body. "I TA two classes, because I am _exceptional_ as a teacher, and they want me for the grad programme so bad I already have the next two years funded which is _not_ the regular deal at my _prestigious college_." He stretches hands upwards, dragging Jensen with him so that he's almost on his toes, off balance, in Jared's power. "I am funding myself okay, even though my older boyfriend's lifestyle is a little rich for me. I am a good friend, even though I don't have enough time for them with everything else that goes on. Oh, and I'm at least the fourth best lacrosse player in my team."

He looses Jensen's hands. "Not a kid, Jen. Not a kid. And I'm sorry I lied. But I'm not sorry we had months of this. And if this is the last night we get, let's make it good." 

Jensen's somewhere between raging and wanting. Not ready to forgive, not ready for this to end. Jared tugs him towards the stairs, and he follows, still undecided. 

It's different. He needs to discover whether that's worth fighting for.


End file.
